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concluding the communication calamity

Posted on Sunday, May 20th, 2007

OK, this is true.
As unexpectedly as it was cut off my phone was reconnected the other day. Not too bad, I have to say France Telecom is improving, that was only twelve days without phone or internet this time. felicitations les gars.
So it really shouldn’t have surprised me when I received the following call from a France Telecom engineer.

FT : yes hello, I understand that your phone is not working and I would like to book an appointment to come to repair it.

me : The phone is working. You are calling me on it.

FT : No, your line is out of service

me : No, the phone is working. You are calling me on it.

FT : Ah bon? …… OK, I can come tomorrow.

He didn’t come which is a shame as I wanted to find out which medication he is on. So I’ve worked out that the company policy must be to call the people whose phone doesn’t work which probably explains why …. no it explains nothing. France Telecom are just another one of the mysteries of life that I feel I will never fully be able to understand. They are up there with thoughts like Is there another word for synonym?, Why is the word abbreviation so long?, Why does the word “lisp”have an S in it? and my old favourite Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Now here’s something interesting. Did you know that you get the best wireless reception at MacDonalds at the top of the kiddies climbing frame. No, the policeman didn’t know that either.

So, I’m back.

14 Responses to “concluding the communication calamity”

  1. wolf

    What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?

    Love your work – here’s mine – http://wolfmuzik.com/cd.html

    I’m launching a new music licensing company – HumDaddy – 50/50 split with artist – you own the music – we just rename your cleared tunes and you let us exploit them under the unique title.

    So if you have any cleared content which needs a second life…

  2. Vanderlei

    Keep posting your stories about European stupidity, France sounds a lot similar to Portugal. We Brazilians (who unfortunately were colonized by the latter) love to crack jokes about how they understand the language we share, sounds a lot like France and your unfortunate events with France Telecom.

  3. Alan

    Thanks for the chuckle Victor – your latest posting just pushed me to go and buy Mysterious Skin and Imperial from HMV (hope to hell you get some money out of it). Keep the comedy coming.

  4. clive Booth

    a million housewives everyday, pick up a tin of beans and say…. beanz meanz heinz

  5. Bernie Thomas

    I hope they do not shut your air conditioning and heat and electricity off just because of your responsible ability in which to get the bills paid on time and in full before they are even due to be paid

  6. Bernie Thomas

    Oh yeah by the way – I bought your latest release from Amazon.com for the musical work you did with Harold Budd. I am pretty excited about getting it and look forward to it

  7. Archrival

    “I’ll write about something relevant next time, I promise.”
    France Telecom seems to be a pain in the ass and all but dont waste your time on those suckers…..hate France Telecom, love your music,..more info about your projects please 😀

    the Violet Indiana album Roulette is very very underrated, been listening to that album constantly lately and its growing a lot, I think it deserves some more praise!

    and WOW!!!! I just heard those two versions you made of ulrich schnauss tracks Gone Forever and On My Own!!! How good are those :O Earth need a collabo between you guys! You make 5 sketches then ulrich make 5 and then you add on stuff on each of his tracks and then switch and so on, then you got a full album, how sweet would that be!!! 😀 bless us, hook up with ulrich.

  8. Alexander Pieri


    Dear Robin,
    I’ve just got this morning the 2cds of your and Budd!! My sincere compliments! I got what I wished to have! You and Harold made a perfect simbiotic mix for the music and you both made an excellent concept of these 2 albums. The post-Mysterious Skin is a celestial poetry for the listener.

    Im realy happy now 🙂 I hope you and Harold will continue to work together (beside that I know you both are busy in different projects).

    I hope you will colaborate with David Sylvian (www.davidsylvian.com) maybe his voice and your guitar sound shall work.

    best wishes for your work!

    Alexander Pieri. Croatia. /
    Web Designer


    gsm: 00385-91-520-1192 ( Croatia )

    skype: alexander_1971

  9. Dan Mudford

    Yeah, and why does ‘sanction’ mean two completely opposite things? Was that the day Dr. Johnson said “I can’t be arsed”?

    Thanks for 2 great new albums.

  10. Brittany Claire

    About *#@! time! Now answer your bleeping email!

  11. therno

    Dear and stimated Mr. Robin:

    We´re still anxiously waiting for you in Chile. I´ll travel 2.014 kms to see you on the three shows that you´ll give.
    By the way, you´re invitated to a friend´s house where will give you a reception (maybe the reception is for us) where we´re going to eat barbecued salmon and other specillities and some good good wine.
    If you want to go (if you don´t there´ll be no reception and no salmon and no wine, but i´ll drink jack daniels anyway) just contact Raul Marquez, the guy that interviewed you.
    Making a dream come true, bye

  12. Manuel

    Really surrealistic!!
    it’s a pleasure to read your words

  13. mike

    2.014 km??? that’s less than a 2 miles!!

    some dedication …. oh, hang on – you mean 2,014km?? well that’s being quite exact I guess.

    whichever it is I hope you all enjoy Robin’s shows, that Robin enjoys playing them, and that French Telecom don’t steal his internet connection while he is away in foreign climes ….

    all the best!

  14. Dennis

    Hey, thanks for making me feel happy even when I’m in my worst mood!!! Your every word or sound are of such an major importance to me…thank you by heart!

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